Hottest Jedi of the Month
by Ryn Turner
Summary: Just what the title says. Anakin beats out Obi-Wan for the first time as Hottest Jedi of the month, and Obi-Wan takes drastic measures to win back his title. ~~~CHAPTER FIVE!! COME AND ENJOY!!!!!~~~
1. Default Chapter

Title: Hottest Jedi of the Month

Author: Aeryn Tucker

Category: Humour/Parody

Rating: PG

Summary: Just what the title says. Anakin beats out Obi-Wan for the first time as Hottest Jedi of the month, and Obi-Wan takes drastic measures to win back his title.

Prologue

Obi-Wan Kenobi waited patiently for the votes to be counted up. One more win for him, and he would have beaten the all-time record for Hottest Jedi of the Month titles.

"We have tallied up the votes!" called out Mace Windu, his voice shushing the talking in the crowd gathered.

"This month's Hottest Jedi is..."

Obi-Wan held his breath. This was the moment of truth.

"...Anakin Skywalker!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd as Obi-Wan's jaw dropped. Anakin?! His 19 year-old Padawan?!

As he contemplated this, Anakin Skywalker was hoisted up above the screaming crowd.

"I guess they wanted someone younger this time Master! Out with the old, in with the new!" Anakin called out as he went by. 

"Why you little-!" Obi-Wan called out, enraged.

Anakin just smiled, waved and was carried onwards.

"This calls for drastic measures..." mumbled Obi-Wan, shaking his fist at his receding Padawan. "Obi-Wan Kenobi will reign again!"

*So, is it good?*


	2. Chapter 1

"I don't understand how I could have lost!" exclaimed Obi-Wan, sitting in Mace Windu's office.

"Well , Obi-Wan, maybe they just wanted a, you-know, younger looking man..."

"What?!" yelled Obi-Wan, standing up. "I AM young!"

Mace shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. "I think that it might be..." he said, mumbling the last few words.

"What was that?!" Obi-Wan said, moving closer.

"I said, maybe they don't like the beard...."

Horrified, Obi-Wan jumped back. Not like the beard?? How could this be?! This was a disaster!

"That's impossible!" he exclaimed, "Qui-Gon won all those titles before me and he had a beard!"

Mace looked over at Obi-Wan. "I know, but that was twenty years ago. I think the women are tired of that now. I think they miss the old, clean shaven you. Sure, there are still you like you no matter how you look, but that won't help you win!"

"Hmm..." Obi-Wan said, pondering. Maybe Mace did have a point. He did used to look extremely ravishing before... 

"I think you're right." Obi-Wan said finally.

"I am?" Mace replied, taken aback, "I mean, of course I am!"

Obi-Wan turned to face his friend, and looked him straight in the eye. "I am going to shave off my beard! Then Obi-Wan Kenobi will reign again!!"

*Should I continue on? Or stop now?*


	3. Chapter 2

Wow. 

He did indeed look ravishing, without the beard. He had already gotten several compliments on his way to Siri's. //Master Sexy is back!// he thought to himself. 

Just when Obi-Wan was passing by the Room of a Thousand Fountains, he saw It.

It was the mob that Anakin, his traitorus Padawan, had aquired after winning the Hottest Jedi of The Month two weeks ago. Screaming girls, and a few guys, swarmed around the now pompous Skywalker.

Obi-Wan found himself clenching his fists together unconsciously. //Stop it, Kenobi!// he reprimanded himself mentally, //Anger leads to the Dark side! Chicks don't like that in a guy!//

Obi-Wan tried to sneak past the room without being noticed, for he was on his way to Siri's to get his hair cut. He had had to bribe her with some Alderaanian chocolates though to get her to cut his hair.

Unfortunately for him, just at that moment, Anakin turned around. "Why hello there, Master, on your way to your shuffleboard class? Where's your walker?"

Anakin's groupies started to laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

Obi-Wan hurried away, trying to stop himself from wringing his Padawan's neck with the Force. //Just you wait, Sandboy, Kenobi will have his revenge...// 


	4. Chapter 3

Leather pants were definitely the most uncomfortable piece of clothing ever created.

This was Obi-Wan Kenobi's thought as he strutted down the hallways of the Jedi Temple in shining, tight and ravishing leather pants. He watched as several female Jedis' mouths dropped open as he strolled by.

//Beat THAT, Sandboy!//he gloated to himself, as he continued to strut.

A gasp came to his lips. He could see his stupid, idiot, Sith-forsaken apprentice of his walking towards him from the other end of the hallway, groupies in tow.

It was a standoff.

The two men faced each other, both wishing that they had magical powers to hurt the other. Wait, they do have magical... ohh, never mind.

Anakin sneered at his master, taking in the flashy leather pants. "Ha. Now you've resorted to using clothing to promote your sexiness. Tsk, tsk, Master. It's no use in trying to outdo me, isn't that right gang?" he said, addressing the mob behind him.

They didn't respond, shuffling their feet and staring down at the floor tiles.

Anakin's jaw dropped. "Guys...??"

One of them cleared her throat, an older Padawan by the name of Elisia Mallora. "Uh, well, Anakin..."

"Yeah?!" he asked nervously, afraid of the answer.

"You're just not... equipped like Obi-Wan."

At this Obi-Wan began to cackle. "Hahahaha! I win, you stupid apprentice! Come ladies," he purred, beckoning Anakin's groupies forwards with a dazzling smile. They barely held in their screams as they darted past Anakin towards Obi-Wan. "We'll have our own... private party, without the kid."

With one girl one both arm, Obi-Wan turned and strolled down the hallway, turning back only to offer a gloating grin to his seething Padawan.

*Man, it's been a long time. Hope people still read this.*


	5. Chapter 4

Today was the day of truth. To finally, once and for all, come to a decision about which one was the sexiest, Obi-Wan and Anakin had resorted to a lightsaber fight. Of course, some Jedi felt that might be unjust, seeing as Anakin was the Chosen One and all. That argument was countered by the fact that Obi-Wan had killed a Sith.

So, the battle went as planned.

In the main arena, Obi-Wan was sitting in the north-east corner and Anakin in the south-west. All possible spaces for viewing were filled with screaming Padawans, smiling knights and bemused masters. Most of the women (and some of the men) practically fainted when Obi-Wan removed his shirt. Someone, most probably a female apprentice, shouted out her love to the master.

Obi-Wan flashed her a dazzling smile and a quick wink of his blue eyes. She fainted on the spot.

//Excellent.// he thought to himself. //I have already won!//

Meanwhile, Anakin Skywalker was also preparing himself for this important battle of the sexiest. It was very important that he win, as he knew that it would once and for all attract Padmé Amidala to him.

Master Yoda stepped into the middle of the arena, and raised one arm. The room went silent, save for a bunch of young girls giggling in a nearby corner.

"Begin, we will."

The crowd erupted into cheers as the two male Jedi stepped forwards. Anakin wore a loose cloth shirt and baggy pants. Obi-Wan went bare-chested, pleasing most of the present company. He also wore baggy pants, with no footwear.

The two moved in and ignited lighsabers. Slowly, they both moved in…

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!


End file.
